Getting Annoyed: It's a You Problem

Many things annoy us in life. That coworker who talks loudly. That friend who chews loudly. That person who drives too slow. On and on. We all have our pet peeves. You can’t control what anyone else does. You can, however, control whether or not you let them effect you. Let’s talk about how getting annoyed is your own fault, and how realizing that can improve your life.

Getting Annoyed

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there is at least one thing someone you know does that annoys you. Not only annoys you, but drives you absolutely crazy. Maybe they don’t realize it, or maybe they do and don’t care. Perhaps you’ve confronted them, or perhaps you haven’t.

So whenever you encounter this person or behavior, you get annoyed, frustrated, even angry. This is driving you crazy. You find it harder to concentrate. Harder to be happy, harder to enjoy things. This person, this behavior, this thing, is making you miserable…Right? Wrong. You are.

Doing it to Yourself

The reality of your frustration is that you are doing this to yourself. Yes, that person doesn’t have to be doing what they are doing. However, YOU also don’t need to be letting it get to you.

This is one of those cases where your mother really was right: The only person you have control over is yourself. That person is going to do what they are doing, whether or not they can help it, whether or not you like it, and there is nothing you can do about it beyond politely asking them not to that won’t lead you into an unnecessary confrontation at best. If you did that and it worked, congratulations. You don’t need to read any further.

If you didn’t or it didn’t work, then this is where the good news starts: There is something you can do that is far more effective than any kind of confrontation. You can simply not let it get to you. Easier said than done, yes. The things that bother you bother you for a reason, and it’s rarely so simple to just decide for them not to.

Just because it’s not simple doesn’t mean it can’t be done. The best part sometimes, after all, is that it’s hard. You have the ability to decide that something no longer bothers you. To decide to be a more patient and tolerable person.

I am by no means saying this should apply to every situation, to every person, to every behavior. There are plenty of things you should not tolerate in order to preserve your self respect, defend yourself, and look out for those around you. There are, however, a good majority of things that fall into this category.

You can make the choice focus inward, to empower yourself by not giving up energy, focus, and happiness to needless stress about things you cannot control. Once you do this, you will find that you are far far happier far more often.

What Annoys You?

As always, I want to hear from all of you. Tell us about the things that have annoyed you in the past, and how you’ve overcome them.