On Being Direct

"Think about how many times in a day you think or even say some version of the following: 'Can I just get a straight answer?' "

Frustrating, isn't it? However, we're not here to talk about how this happens TO you. As with everything we do here, we're here to discuss how you can avoid being part of the problem. Or at the very least, how you can stop being part of it if you are.

I never told you any of this would be easy. On the contrary, I've promised you the exact opposite. We're here for necessary, not for easy. Let's get started.

Your Approach

No one likes getting the run-around on anything. Whether it is in your personal life, your hobbies, your career, or even just going to the grocery store, most of us appreciate the ability to get a straight answer on things, even if that answer is not the one we want.

However, as I said previously, we’re here to talk about how you can take steps to get this result more often, not to focus on how you don’t. This, as with everything else, starts with you.

Ask yourself: How do you approach people? Do you approach without aggression?

Think about how you walk up to, call or even write to people. What is your approach like? Do you bring a calm, composed, approachable persona to the table? Even if you are clear and concise, that won’t matter if you make people feel like you’re going to start conflict the moment you hear something you don’t like. Most people that get that impression will find any reason they can to prematurely end the conversation, or simply avoid it entirely. Consider your first impression when approaching people, no matter how serious the situation is for you.

How Direct Are You, Really?

Next, really ask yourself if you are as simple and direct with people as you wish they were with you. Yes, even those areas that make you uncomfortable. This isn’t a standard if you make exceptions for yourself.

Consider the areas that you get run around in. Do you have a hard time getting a straight answer from a manager at your job? Think about the projects you turn in or the reports you file. Do you really have a case to make on how this person communicates with you, or anyone else for that matter?

If that person has even one example to point to of you being anything less than absolutely clear on all of your communications, your argument becomes null and void. Now, we both know that this doesn’t invalidate your argument. However, we are after a realistic solution here, and we know that people will argue with logical fallacies, cast blame, re-direct the discussion, and so forth. So, cliche as it is, make sure your house isn’t made of glass before you start projecting condensed minerals. You will get better results and have an easier time seeking accountability from others when your own behavior is immaculate. Fix yourself first.

Let’s Make a Difference

As always, I want to hear from all of you. Where are you dealing with ambiguous or even poor communication in your life? Have you been able to apply what we discussed today to improve things? Were you the problem after all? Let’s hear your stories down below.