Setting Your Own Rules

There are many times in life when rules will be made for you. Where you go into a situation knowing the pre-defined and indisputable limits. But there are plenty of situations in which this does not happen, and waiting until you are in the midst of things to decide how you will handle matters is a recipe for disaster. Let's talk about making rules for yourself in order to plan for success.

Learning When You Need Rules

It can be difficult and even frustrating to admit that you need rules in your adult life. After all, isn't this the coveted time you waited for throughout your childhood, when you can stay up as late as you want, eat whatever you want, do whatever you want?

The reality, as most of us learn, is that while you CAN do all of those things, you SHOULDN'T. What's more, just taking each day as it comes and doing what feels right at the time is a recipe for disaster, if not at the very least disappointment.

Learning when to set rules for yourself ahead of time is a life skill, and one that you can never become too proficient at. You know yourself and the areas you struggle in. Do you have a weakness for junk food? Alcohol? Wasteful spending? Have trouble going to bed when you know you should? Find your weak areas and identify them, even if only to yourself.

Don't make the mistake of letting shame or laziness lead you into situations where you are left to your whims, desires, and emotions. Even the best of us has weaknesses, times and circumstances when we are more likely to do what we want to do than what we know we need to. While it is ideal to simply not put yourself in these situations at all, the reality is that that is not always an option.

Lastly, don't be stubborn about situations you don't like having to create rules for. We all have things we would rather indulge in more often. The reality of becoming a stronger, better person, your best self, is that you have to accept where you need more work to get to the next level.

Making the Rules

So you've identified the areas in which you need to make rules for yourself. Either you sat down and thought them through, or you learned the hard way through some painful or frustrating experiences that there are situations in which you need them. What now?

You start mapping out the specifics of how, where, and when you will limit yourself and under what conditions. Enjoy going out for drinks after work? Maybe only on Fridays. Have a problem with spending? Only carry a certain amount of cash on you and leave your cards at home.

The possibilities are as endless as your various needs and circumstances. The point is to be honest and strict with yourself, and to get specific. A vague "I'll do better next time" doesn't do you any good. If you're going to put in the work to lay out rules for yourself, make it worth your while and be detailed.

This should go without saying. But once you lay out your rules, follow them. If you find yourself not being incentivized to follow them, set up consequences for yourself. Or let me do it for you.

No matter how you go about it, set your rules, stick to them, and take the extra step toward being your best self.

What are Your Rules?

As always, I want to hear from all of you. What are the rules you set for yourself? What are the experiences you've had that have made you realized you needed to set them? How has making your own rules improved your life? Tell us your stories below.