It Really ISN'T About You
Why it isn't
These words are one of the oldest cliches in spoken language, and most of us heard them more than once growing up. But more and more often, I am finding that people don't know WHY it isn't about you. Aren't we all important? Isn't our life about us? Yes and no at the same time.
Let me explain. The overwhelming majority of people exist firmly within their own heads and perceptions. Their life is a first person experience with them as the hero of their story. The people around them are the supporting cast, and they either assist with, oppose, or are simply extras in that story.
It is incredibly difficult for most people to truly internalize the concept that every single other person in the world experiences the world in mostly the same way. That they have their own first person experience, with all of their own hopes, fears, dreams, and story. This is why people are inherently "selfish": They "know" that other people experience this and have their own lives, but it takes conscious work to reach a state of true empathy in which that knowledge actively figures into their choices and actions.
Why it is
We are not above this. No one is. So to each of, everything IS about us. We are the hero of our own story, and nothing and no one can completely break us of that perception. And for the most part, that's ok. This is what leads to self-preservation and self-interest. This is what leads to passion, goals, and accomplishments.
The problem, then, becomes when we forget or stop caring that everyone else is in the same mental state. Conflict arises when we don't realize or don't care that our story is conflicting with someone else's.
When controlled and agreed to, this can lead to healthy competition, to the betterment of both parties. But none of us can say that we have not, at some point in our lives, taken this too far and become so absorbed in our own story that we seek to overwrite all the others around us.
Strength is in the Balance
So today what I tell you is that strength, in this, is found in balance, empathy, and awareness. To not pretend that it ISN'T about you, but to also never forget that at the same time, it never is.
By being consistently conscious of other people, of the other stories playing out around you that YOU are a supporting role in, you can elevate yourself to a more harmonious place in your own life. The smallest show of kindness and understanding can be the greatest strength that you display.
I want to hear your stories and experiences below. Share with all of us a time when you were shaken out of your head and forced to realize just how much it isn't about you.